“That’s a tomorrow problem”: how I’m learning to cope with an incomplete to-do list.
For an OC individual, there’s nothing more satisfying than checking items off a to-do list. On the flip side, there’s nothing more annoying than an incomplete to-do list. Lately, I’ve been dealing with feelings of frustration regarding this Very Important Matter (hehe, just kidding).
I started working at a boarding school and quickly realized that it is impossible to get everything done, because my to-do list is essentially endless. The first few weeks, I was determined to get all the tasks done. I would work all day long without taking breaks because it was important to me to check off every item on my whiteboard by the end of the day.
However, the truth is that as soon as my to-do list was complete, another one would soon replace it. When you work at a boarding school, there is always the possibility of adding more responsibilities, completing more tasks, and working harder. I realized that if I kept going this way, I would burnout quickly, and then I wouldn’t feel happy working at all.
To challenge myself, I try to complete as many tasks as possible on my to-do list each day, but leave one item unchecked. As you can imagine, this feels excruciatingly painful for the OC part of my personality. I’m literally dying to get the task completed and have to use a lot of self-restraint in order not to get it done. It brings up a lot of feelings of anxiety and frustration, and at the same time, it’s given me the opportunity to practice self-enquiry.
“How come it’s so upsetting to not get everything done on the same day?”
“When I can’t accomplish everything on my to-do list, I end up ruminating, and spending a lot of emotional energy feeling uneasy. What’s up with that, and what can I learn from this?”
“The world won’t erupt into flames if a non-urgent task is delayed, so why am I letting this affect me so much? Is there a function, and what can I do about these feelings of uneasiness?”
After practicing self-enquiry and acknowledging that I can’t keep working so hard or else I’ll burnout, I’ve decided to “give up” on my desire to get everything done as soon as possible.
If it’s late at night and there’s no point in starting a new project or completing a new task, I turn to my co-workers and say, “Well, that’s a tomorrow problem.”
In the last couple of days, it’s been an ongoing joke between us. We glance at our endless to-do list, exchange a look, and shrug in indifference.
Then one of us will say, “Tomorrow problem?”
“Yep, that’s a tomorrow problem!” the other one will answer.
This takes the pressure off and allows me to sit back and relax a little bit more. It allows me to breathe, metaphorically and literally.
So far, it’s been challenging having to tolerate an incomplete daily to-do list, but I’ve managed, even though it’s been quite draining. Hopefully, it will get easier over time, and I’ll get better at tolerating the uneasiness in the future. Then I’ll be able to use this emotional energy in a way that’s more aligned with my values, which is something I aspire to do.